Thursday, November 29, 2012

Take a sip

Motherhood is a beautiful thing. I will start this post by saying I really do feel blessed to have my son in my life and to be able to stay home with him.


Being a mom is a hard job. In a conversation with a friend she said "[motherhood] is so hard! Nobody ever talks about how hard it is!" It's true, we don't. We smile and say everything is great- and share pictures of smiles and happy moments. Well, I'm here now, and I'll talk about it!

Everyone, take a [metaphorical] sip.

I think most of the pressure lies with the fact that WE as parents are responsible for every aspect of our child's life; feeding, bathing, play, teaching, diapers (and potty training), and their psychological well being. WE are responsible for how they turn out! Sure, you can go back and forth all day about nature vs. nurture- but let's be real here. Have you ever heard of a serial killer that had a perfect childhood?

Insert the studies. Such-and-such study says that spanking will harm your child psychologically, and this one says crying it out will leave your child thinking NOBODY will EVER be there for them, and that one talks about helicopter patenting and spoiling and entitlement issues.
So let me get this strait- I'm supposed to baby wear, put a smile on for temper tantrums, be there for him 24/7- without looking at him? How in the...?

Here's what I've taken from it- I'll research benefits of multiple parenting techniques and use the ones I feel comfortable with. I baby wear when appropriate, but we also have a stroller. I read to my son and tend to his every need during the day- but I do NOT put up with temper tantrums. I don't spank- but if I find myself at my wits end I'll put him in his crib for a minute or two and shut the door. I'm not talking crying because something is wrong- I mean full-on, feet kicking, head rolling, no-tears-tantrum because he didn't get his way. I will have more patience with him than I've had for anyone EVER but- I still have a breaking point. Sometimes I use deep breathing techniques, sometimes I cry! But if he is fed and changed and healthy- two minutes in his crib won't hurt him. (He is two weeks shy of a year old by the way).

Take a sip.

Another hard part is that no matter what you do- you're wrong! Formula feed (for whatever reason) and you're frowned at. Only breastfeed for 6mo or a year? Shame on you! You breastfeed past a year? Jeeze you better cut the cord before college! Baby wear? Hippy. Stroller?? Distant. Spend most of your time with them? Helicopter mom!! Don't spend enough time? You're neglectful. Make your own food? More time lost! Buy baby food- you're lazy! Stay at home mom? Lazy freeloader. Working mom?? You pay someone to raise your kids!

Nothing you do will ever please everyone.

But- so long as you are not abusing or actually neglecting your child- you can only do what YOU feel is best for YOUR child. Take those little precious moments that melt your heart- and hold them close for the hard days.
Take a sip. Breathe- and know that you're not alone.

I'm sure there will be more added on this subject, but I feel content with my rant of the day! If there is a subject you feel should be discussed or put out there- feel free to leave a comment.

Hug your kids, and have a good day!


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